Friday, 5 April 2013

Dealing with "A" of my life

I was thinking about 'Anger'. You may ask Why 'Anger', out of nowhere? Off late I have been very angry, for something or the other. Either at my daughter, for making the house dirty or not getting up early, or my husband passing comments about my cooking performance this week. I have been yelling, shouting and crying. As everybody would have experienced, anger leads to remorse. While I sat lamenting about my behavior, I started thinking about how to control it. Not much of a breakthrough though.

A small research project started yesterday night, when my husband made a remark at something. My general reaction would have been to get angry, tell something (tit for tat) and then cry. But yesterday unknowingly a thought crossed my mind. I asked myself, what is making me so angry? What is in his comment, that is hurting me? Is my ego getting hurt? What is leading to pain, which leads to anger?

As they say, thoughts travel at a speed higher than anybody has ever been able to measure. All this practically happened in no time. By then the beautiful part had happened. It was like a moment of enlightenment in my life. I had lost my anger.

I think this is the first time it has happened to me. I am not sure I figured out the answer as to why I was angry, but when I started seeking as to why I was angry, the intensity of my anger had subsided. So the next time I am on the verge of "blowing my fuse off", I plan to pause and ask myself, why? Afterall, fuse is costly. Even for a bulb, its made out of a costly metal, tungsten. Then its really risky that I blow the fuse of my mind, of which I dont even know the make. And I doubt there are spares, in case I permanently blow it off.

I plan to use this technique. I will keep you posted on the outcome.

Wishing everybody anger free days ahead in life.

Baa bye !!!


  1. Buddha once said "Holding angry thought for someone is like holding burning charcoals to throw at someone". You see how self awareness shifts our consciousness from feeling like a victim to feel like an observer. As per stephen covey, Between a event and our reaction to that, lies a moment of pause. Once you learn to get into that gap your decision capabilities soars. May you succeed on your journey!!!!

  2. சினமென்னும் சேர்ந்தாரைக் கொல்லி இனமென்னும்
    ஏமப் புணையைச் சுடும்.

    சாலமன் பாப்பையா உரை:

    சேர்ந்தவரைக் கொல்லி எனப்படும் கோபம், சேர்ந்தவரை மட்டும் அன்று; சேர்ந்தவர்க்குத் துணையாக இருப்பவரையும் எரித்துவிடும்.

    The Great saint Thiruvalluvar wrote: Anger not only destroys the person it originated, it will destroy all the dears & nears. In fact, he indicates the equavalent effect of destroyed by "fire" for the anger. Anger has that much effect!


  3. Thanks for your wish Bibhu. I tasted that gap once and wish to taste it again. I will sincerely attempt.

  4. Cant Agree more with you. Thanks for reading.


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