Friday, 17 February 2012

My pursuit of happiness

A few days back, one of my friend’s introduced me to this site.

I noticed that many of my friends are going through a phase where they are not sure what happiness means to them. This is my own version of “the pursuit of happiness”. Join me if you are interested.

What needs to be done, if I have to be happy? A thought process map.

Will these things make you feel happy?
-          Leading a more disciplined life
-          Spending more time with your loved ones
-          Spending some time with yourself
-          Doing your office work in the allotted time with nothing to carry back home, not even a simple dissatisfaction
-          Have a sense of achievement and fulfillment about each living day

Now let us see how we can achieve the above?
-          Write a timetable. Try to stick to it. There will be days when you cannot be perfect. Forgive yourself and tell yourself you can do better. Don’t punish yourself being angry and frustrated. Just let it be. The sky is not going to fall down, just because you did not reach office at 9.30. Now I will try to get to the nitty-gritty details of what the time table should contain.
o   Set a time to get up, finish your morning routines, cooking, cleaning and reaching office.
o   Set some time aside for doing a little exercise. I have experienced it myself, this makes your whole day energetic. You must have heard about the ”sound mind in a sound body”. So let’s target the body in order to get a sound mind.
o   While at office, just concentrate on work. When you enter office, make a small note of what you want to do today. A goal drives a person. At the end of the day while you fill your timesheet, write down what made you feel good and what did not go well. You know what is the area of improvement to focus on for the next day. Forget about things like the credit and appreciation. You are being paid a handsome salary and you need to work. Money we get at the end of the month is an appreciation in itself. Just remember how much you pay your maid and how many hours she is working and how much demanding you are of her? There is no harm in your organization expecting you to work.
o   There are days, when there is no much work at office. Focus on learning on such days. Set yourself a target on what you don’t know. You might have served for 10 long years, but there are still things that you don’t know. Remember you are never too old to learn.
o   Go home a relaxed person with a sense of achievement that you did something constructive in office.
o   At home, be at home. Relax, unwind and play with your child. She needs you, after a daylong separation. Play with her, like a child. Remove the obstacles and inhibitions. Run and be stupid. Tell her stories or play with her, do what they want you to do.
o   Before winding up, say a small prayer of thanks. Remember to recollect all that went well. Well, if there were bad events, thank that you sailed through a tough day and it is finally ending.
-          Always remember, cooking cleaning and other things will be there always till the last day of your very existence. We have to do all that. There is never going to be an escape. But when things go out of hand, like some day you are getting late because of your kid not obeying you. Just think what is of higher priority, the kid or the work. You know better!
-          You want some time for yourself, everybody needs. Set a target of a few hours every week. Do what interests you in that time. Read, sing, attend classes, learn to do some new things. Do what pleases you the most.
-          If nothing works and you are still depressed, listen to music. Try singing loudly with it. I am sure it will work.
-          In every quarter, plan to go to a trip. At least visit your in-laws. What can be more entertaining?
-          Every weekend, go to a temple, to a shopping mall, to some concert, or a park. It will make you feel you did something different.
-          Acknowledge the fact that you are comfortable to think about quitting what you are doing right now. Be grateful to God for that. Some time back, in the time of our parents, they could not even think of that.

Remember, one bite at a time. I hope all our lives are better some day soon.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

A Record of My Mind's - Inconsistent Jabber

I wonder what my life is turning out into? I go to work everyday diligently between 9:30 and 10:00 AM. I work, chat with a few friends at office during tea breaks and lunch breaks. We talk about anything we feel like on that day. There is luckily no rigid rules set for the topic of banter (it would be so boring otherwise). I pick my daughter from the day care. I cook and I clean. I am so tired when I hit the pillow, my husband complains I snore.

This is essentially how my normal day looks. I am so amazed at my ability to do the same mundane things every single day. I appreciate my motivation levels. How do we tune ourselves into a life like this?? There is less likely that there is going to be any change in the way the day will turn out to be. Except for the fights with the managers, handling their erratic behavior is a single challenge that I may face on some days. My husband has his manager to be bugged with. So, when we both return home, its like we have left a battle field and are so happy and greatful to finally be back home.

The work exhausts us completely and we hardly have any energy left to play with the baby. We muster up all our strength and still do a fair justice in playing with her. In the little time that is available, we try to entertain her with some dull tricks. After a day's toil, the mind is in the least creative mode.

I wonder what I could change in my life to make it more interesting. Something to make me look forward to see the following day. Its not like I dont attempt, I do read books, try to do some art work, browse internet. But still it does not make me feel adequate. I still feel something is amiss and the work life is a predominant factor. It gorges into most of the time in the day. Work life balance is not so easy to achieve with 9 hours of being in office.

While I think how to make life interesting, if anybody has ideas, please let me know.